Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
