a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
