woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
