So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
