I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize