Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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