He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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