Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
