if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
