i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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