super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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