i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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