I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize