My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
