You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
