Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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