I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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