When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
