I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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