I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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