Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
