Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
