Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
