seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
