Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
