This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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