All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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