apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
