Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Pants are for mortals
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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