I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
