He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
