Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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