sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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