who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You can't special order awesome
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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