So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
