We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize