pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
