i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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