I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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