i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
