What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
