Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
