tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
