No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
