i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
