we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Me too!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
