the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
