Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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