Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
