Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
