omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
