its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
