The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
