Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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