this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
