you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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