Define "chronic" masturbator.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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