a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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