It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
