Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Did you just see the Batmobile???
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
