real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
