I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
